My love

 

For quite some time now, I’ve avoided the topic of ‘being in love’ on my blog; mostly because I was afraid of peoples opinions, or rejections. I quite frankly didn’t want to hear the words “You’re to young to be in love, or even know what love is.” So I avoided posting about it on this blog, although I write of it consistently.

Now I’ve explained; let me begin with staying that love is what you make it.

I’m not sure it’s possible to define love, for every interpretation is stated differently, taken differently, and most importantly, each person feels love differently. Even if I had the words to show you, that explain the love I feel perfectly, I’m not sure everyone would understand. Yet here I am, still explaining, and completely willing to try.

Love, I’ve leant, is not one thing, but a vast majority of thing; its found in the little things, that can go unseen if you don’t pay attention. All little insignificant things that come together to make a feeling that is bigger then us all.

and love, is most definitely not limited to the person you’re in love with, yet all who you love.

Love, I’ve learnt, is learning to be selfless – in a world that is raised on being selfish.

Love is taking care of someone you love, even if you don’t feel great yourself, because what matters to you, is them being okay.

Love is letting your loved ones help you up when you fall, they already know you’re capable of doing it on your own, but the point of loving people is that you don’t have too.

(Side note, it took a while to learn this one, and I’m still stubborn at times, but I’m never alone.) 

Love is going out of your way for someone.

and I know, that I could go on and on about the little things that make all the difference in the world, but honestly nothing gets past just being there for someone. Listening to them rant, cry, laugh. Spending the time to know them, memorise them.

For me, there is nothing more beautiful then knowing the person I am in love with knows my personality and my mind inside out, and always does what he can to show me how much he loves me.

And although, sometimes I become lost for words – I know that I am the luckiest young woman in the world to be in love with a young man who always takes the time to know me, and love me, and I don’t want to go a day without showing not only him, but all who I love, that I do love them – and will always take the time to know them, inside out.

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Until next time,

Katie J,

x

I Found My Heart (Part two)

A continuation of Where Is My Heart? (Part One)

There is truly a difference between stepping out of your comfort zone, and having your comfort zone taken away from you. My family is my support system, and as I stated in the last blog post, there is almost always a few of us around. However, due to a twist of fate; or more likely, God forcing me to explore outside my comfort zone, I was left almost alone.

And it wasn’t until I was the only member of my tribe around, did I truly realise how much bigger by tribe is then I originally thought.

You see, I am very much a people person… but NOT in a way where I have to see lots of people all the time, more in the way of, I have a select few people – they are part of my tribe, and I am lonely when they’re not around. My direct family is my tribe, so without them, granted, its lonely. Yet its only once they left that, I realised, they are majority of my tribe, yet they do not make up all of it.

You see, instead of finding myself wandering on my lonesome through my day to day activities and coming home to an empty house, I found people stepping forward and offering me into their own, and for the most of me, I didn’t expect it.

I thought I would spend those few weeks ‘manning up’ and learning to be okay with being on my own, yet instead, I was shown more love and received more welcomes then expected. And I’m grateful for those few weeks, because not only did it mean more quality time with my loved ones – but it made me realise how much bigger my tribe is.

For starters, my Nan knew I wouldn’t like to come home to an empty house, especially after finishing work late at night. So everyday, she would ring an offer me a bed, a home, and a loving embrace to come home too.  For the most part, I ended up living with my nan for those few weeks; and let me tell you that not for a moment my tribe was gone, did I feel unloved. In fact I felt just the opposite, I felt loved, and wanted, and always welcome, and it was a wonderful thing. It was a blessing, to have this time  with Nan, to share stories, teach other things, and have quality time together, that we don’t usually get the chance to have, and I’m am so grateful, because time spent with a loved one, is time utilized – always.

I’m not only grateful to my nan and pop – for letting me stay with them and taking care of me (although yes I am an adult, and I can very much take care of myself… but I will never stop wanting love or quality time, it’s my love language, I can’t help it.) I am also grateful for my boyfriend, and his family, for ensuring that I knew that I was always welcome in their home, whenever I wanted or needed, and inviting me on family days out, when family time is exactly what I needed (and wanted). I know for a fact that (this family, and my grandparents) they’re apart of my safety net too, and if I fell, they’d drop what they were holding to catch me.

To me, family is everything; and to be accepted and welcome into another family, as much as I have, is an honour and a privilege I don’t take lightly. And for me, to not only have my own family to come home too, my grandparents to love me, and my boyfriends family to care for me as well? I’d have to be the luckiest, and most loved young woman in the world. I know I’m just having a rant now… but being loved is a really really really special thing, and I will never stop appreciating it.

I know this is only a simple blog post, and it is not an unusual thing for my family to be away for a while, but the thing is – those few weeks meant so much to me, because I learnt how much I was loved and how much bigger my tribe was then I thought.

Sometimes it’s easy, to look past the people who care for you, until you main support system is where else. So let me tell you, your tribe is bigger then you think, so don’t loose them for anything.

In a busy schedule, it’s easy to lose track of time, and hard to find enough of it to see all your loved ones – So I’m forever grateful for my extended tribe, and for making time to love lil old me.

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Until next time,

Katie x

Where is my heart? (Part one)

“Home is where the heart is” is such a sought after and common phrase, that after a while, you almost become immune to it, it looses all meaning, all hoorah’s have left. The party is over.
It wasn’t until I was left the only one at home, did I understand this phrase on a new level.
As a true advocate and experienced traveler, I am so familiar with this phrase, because out of all the countries I’ve been too, cities I got lost in, and all the country towns I wanted to stay in, none of them could ever compare to the beauty that coincides with my home. This is both because; out of all the adventures over seas travel holds, none of them could ever contain the stories that my suburb holds. Out of all the day dream countries and holiday homes; the don’t offer the uniqueness, that my home does.

The opportunity to run to the beach when you have a spare chance. To dive in the ocean when life is weighing you down. To lay in the fields undisturbed and making pictures from the clouds. To jump from high cliffs into water falls over and over, knowing full well that that was today’s highest and best achievement.
Yet still; all this would mean nothing, with no one to share it with. The true uniqueness of my home town, is made up of the people I care about.

To me, stories are nothing without having someone to come home too and share them with.
Alas; I’ve been homesick countless times because I am always missing someone, always longing to see someone I love, and waiting to return home. Because home is where the heart is.

When speaking about my family, I think it would be fair to say that we are a family of jet setters, we are here one minute and gone the next, but almost always, there is a few of us around. (I mean, there’s a lot of us… So we can’t ALL be away at the same time, right) mmm, not so right.
These past two week (almost) my whole family have been away (there’s 10 of us.. Including in laws and my niece and nephew.)
3 of them were out of the country, 2 were in a different state and 4 (lil ones) were sick.. Meaning I was unable to visit.. (No baby cuddles for me(sad face)).

Unsure with what to do with myself, I went along with my busy little schedule and filled in each day as much as I could. I’m not very good at being by myself. I ended up staying with my nan, as my pop was away as well. (If you’ve ever had the privilege of coming across my nan, you will understand what a blessing and piece of sunshine she is).
I found myself avoiding home, and the phrase “home is where the heart is” running around my head almost endlessly. Yet, each day I had to visit home to feed my little grey cat and give him some love.. We’re kinda similar, feed us and give us attention and like, we won’t die.
I looked around my house and thought back to the time when there was 9 of us, under this one medium sized roof, and I wished for a second I was back in that moment.

Surrounded by the people I love, fighting over who did the dishes last, watching my niece chase the cat around the house, not caring that my bedroom was currently the lounge room.
It was in that moment, I realized the hidden meaning of the phrase “home is where the heart is.” Because I was in my home, yet it was only a house; and my heart was in another country, another state, and another house all together.
And I realized, what a true blessing and torturous thing it is, to care so deeply for so many people, and a bunch of jet setters and adventure seekers none the less, and I wouldn’t change a thing.

Missing my tribe tonight & can’t wait to welcome them all home one by one. X